Picture-Perfect

I see the school, and the places where the kids are

It's April, and now May is the only month this fool has never seen in Korea. The two points are closing on my little yearlong Korea circle. The weather's getting legitimately warm now, and the air thick. That means Korea is slowly returning to the state in which I found it.

This weekend's key was - once again - pretty low. Ben came over Friday and we kicked the shit out of each other in various Wii events and competitions. Saturday I was going to have a Wii party, but most people had plans that didn't involve manipulating imaginary things with white remotes, so it really became just me and Mike drinking and Wii-battling. Wattliing? No, that sounds like some perverted way for a duck to feed its children.

As the weekend left me with a dearth of entertaining pictures (while images of two drunks playing pretend sports can be hilarious, the idea never occurred to me at the time) I set out during the week to capture some nice images of Korea... being Korean. I'm starting to get apathetic to the fact that an old lady buying fruit might kind of lose it and start screaming when a foreigner takes her picture. That kind of apathy makes for some more candid photos, which is really the only way to get life in its element.

Fear of Koreans' fear of me still stops me from getting some pictures of some good scenes, though. The other day, I came across a group of about half a dozen 40-50 year old men cooking Sam Gyup Sal (tasty baconesque fatty BBQ pig thing) on top of a mountain. Drinking Soju. In the middle of the day, like shortly after noon. I'm not sure if I've seen a more definitive image of Korea in my life. But I knew if I snapped a photo of drunk, jobless men trying to enjoy barbecued pork, I'd be grilled alive. And it didn't help that they all froze and crane-neck-stared at the white guy stupid enough to trespass into their turf.

The 'mountain' in question was a hill overlooking Gwangmyoeng, the area in which I work. Funny how the typical Korean neighbourhood of tightly-knit houses with anachronistic roofs looks all the more interesting clung to the side of a steep hill with a relatively modern city in the smoggy distance. Then, of course, there's a traditional temple in the middle of it all.

Arcade games here aren't limited to noisy coin-changing flashy-light mall locales. In fact, their most popular iteration seems to be the run-down looking mini machines outside of tiny grocerias. I guess it makes sense, given the main clientèle, that these change-stealing monsters be 3-feet tall and located outside the place where moms buy cereal.

Another great photo op I missed-out on in this area was just outside of a small hair shop. A small truck selling fruits and vegetables had stopped outside the salon, and a bunch of women, still in rollers and plastic haircaps were out bargaining for cheap food. That's another essential bit of Korea right there - the ability to shop anywhere at any time. Kittens, puppies and bunnies for sale on the stairs of the subway station. Who comes home from work and decides to pick up a sickly rabbit from the old lady who lives on the stairs of the local subway station, anyway? Then again, this is coming from the guy who bought a ceramic golden pig while waiting for a crosswalk light to change.

Speaking of my purchasing aptitude, I visited Yongsan again tonight. In a move that probably should have come before now, I bought a new camera. My (mostly) pocketable point-and-shoot Fuji has served (and will continue to serve) me well, but now I've got a slick new DSLR - a Nikon D40. After only a few hours, I can already appreciate that it takes far better pictures than I've been taking for the last nine months (see left). Of course, it's too new, and I don't know how to get the most out of it yet - these are just quick snaps.

This should serve me well in the weeks following Korea, too. I'm planning to travel around Asia for a bit after my contract finished in late June. Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, Thailand (again), and who knows where else. Then it's back to Canada before too terribly long. From there I'll play it by ear.

Speaking of travel, I've got my first visitor coming next week. Claire's coming Saturday and staying for a week. It'll be fun to show someone Seoul, and see them be a tourist here. I've helped people around the place before, but those are more like survival tips - help how to live here for the next year.

Before closing-out the week though, I've got a few things to show. The first is a strange ad I saw at a subway station. I couldn't help but make up a Gary Larson sort of caption in my head to explain the strange picture:

"Despite their best efforts, the crack team of inanimate stuffed animal doctors was unable to save the patient's life.

The tragedy seemed rather predictable to the child's parents, who vehemently protested the hospital's unorthodox choice of physicians.

Hardly the first incident of its kind, the Board of Directors finally thought this might be the time to re-examine the wisdom behind their always-controversial Teddy Bear Infant Emergency Care Ward."

And oh, from the mouths of babes. Of course, children are far funnier than me (probably more clever, too). A Kindergarten student said "So, we meet again..." to me the other day. I kind of expected us to fly into a samurai battle from there. Probably for the best that it didn't happen, though - these kids all take TaeKwonDo classes, too.

Then, the other day my student Thomas said "Peter, you are Chinese!"

Never one to let a 5-year-old outwit me, I quipped, "Thomas, you are Japanese!"

Then he really caught me off guard when he responded, "You are a Gypsy!"

At that point, I was honestly stuck for a response other than "What!? Did you just call me a Gypsy? How do you know that word!?"

So, to close the week, I leave a a few examples of limited English leading to strange results. On the left, I've got a few strange test answers, some from a student who seems to have some strange idea of what goes on in Hollywood. Then on the right, I've got what is easily the strangest and most inappropriate shirt I've ever seen a 5-year old wear.


In case you can't make it all out, it says:

"If you had a rich boyfriend he'd buy you diamonds and rubies. Well, maybe next year you will when you're got bigger boobies!"

Poor Kevin. I wish I could explain to his mother what his shirt says without embarrassing everyone involved.